Helping Kids Aim for Mastery — One Arrow, One Experience at a Time
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it really means to help kids grow. Not just grow in skill, but in confidence, perseverance, and the ability to commit to something over time. Whether it’s in the classroom, on the court, or on the archery range, I keep coming back to three books that have deeply influenced the way I teach, coach, and parent: Mastery by Robert Greene, Grit by Angela Duckworth, and Every Moment Matters by John O’Sullivan.
One of the ideas that stuck with me from Mastery is the difference between interests and passions. A lot of people talk about helping kids find their passion, but I think that can be misleading. Most kids don’t just stumble into a burning passion. It doesn’t usually work like that. What they need is exposure. A chance to try something they’ve never done before. A chance to discover.
My youngest son, who’s nine now, is a great example of this. Over the past few years, he’s tried baseball, wrestling, football, soccer, basketball, and track. Not all of them clicked, but the important part is that he tried them. And now, thanks to that encouragement and time on the field, he’s found a real love for basketball and baseball. If I hadn’t nudged him a bit, he may have never known how much he would come to enjoy those sports.
Robert Greene calls this creating a rich environment of exposure. I think that’s one of our biggest responsibilities as parents and teachers — not to find our child’s one great passion, but to introduce them to enough new experiences so they can start discovering what excites them. We’re not just letting them follow their passions. We’re helping them find what to follow.
Of course, discovering an interest is only the beginning. That’s where Grit comes in.
Angela Duckworth makes a strong case that talent is never the whole story. The kids who rise to the top aren’t always the ones who show the most promise early on. They’re the ones who keep showing up. Who learn to struggle well. Who stay with it when things get hard. “Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” That quote hit me hard.
That idea came to life tonight, actually. For Father’s Day, my family and I sat down to play a new board game. There are six of us, and trying something new can be a little chaotic. At first, there were complaints. Confusion. A few “this game stinks” comments. But by the end, the five of us who stuck with it were laughing and having a great time. It reminded me how easy it is to give up before giving something a real chance. So much of growth comes from sticking with something long enough to discover if it’s worth it.
And that’s why I’m passionate about archery and what we’re building here at ArrowQuest. Archery may not become a child’s lifelong passion. But it might. Or it might become the activity that teaches them how to focus, how to try again, how to feel what progress feels like. I’ve seen kids come to their first lesson unsure and discouraged. Then they land one solid shot, and everything changes. They start to believe in themselves. I’ve learned to stay open with every kid, because sometimes the ones who seem unsure at first are the ones who end up falling in love with the process.
That lesson is one I carry with me from Every Moment Matters. John O’Sullivan encourages coaches to act as if we’re terrible at predicting which kids are going to be great. Because honestly, we often are. He challenges us to teach every child as if they’re the one who will stick with it and thrive. To teach as many as possible, as well as possible, for as long as possible.
That mindset has changed how I approach teaching archery. I don’t look for natural talent. I look for curiosity. Willingness. Small sparks. And I try to provide the structure, encouragement, and safe space that helps those sparks catch fire.
So to the parents and coaches reading this, here’s my encouragement. Give your kids rich experiences. Encourage them to try new things. Stick with them through the messy beginnings. Help them build the discipline that allows interest to grow into something deeper. Whether it’s archery or something else entirely, what matters most is that they learn to commit, to keep going, and to discover who they might become.
And if they pick up a bow and discover something new in themselves along the way—even better.